Sunday, August 27, 2006
i am seriously breaking down. don't know what to do. everything is just so, emotionless to me. can't really say i'm in a good mood right now, neither can i say i'm in a bad mood. its like the stuck in between feeling, and i hate it.
i seriously feel like giving up on this faith challenge. after all the things i've heard, all the outcome. i don't know if i can hold on, if i can carry on believing for the miracle anymore. i feel like i'm continuosly pushing on for the nothing. but i know that its not the thing to do.. so what do i do? continue pushing on, or give up? gosh. the answer's so obvious. but the will to do so. gosh! what the hell am i thinking? why am i putting myself in such a situation in the first place? how can i let my faith be put down my people? David! get a hold of yourself. push on for all you've got! you wanted this in the first place, now strive on to get it! finish what you've started! do not give up if its the last thing you do!
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was at ikea just now. having hotdog and free flow of drinks. guess that's like a good thing now. lol.. i don't know why, don't ask me.
good. this coming week is good. like nearly 3 days of holiday, followed by one week of real holiday. good, i can get a rest of things. just rest, enjoyment for a moment, nope, not computer games. i don't think computer games has any effect on my now. everytime i play them its just the same old process, which is totally boring. sometimes i just wanna go to a quiet place, maybe the library or a park, sit there and enjoy the quietness and nothingness. no worries about the things around me. maybe one day i'll do that. maybe one day.
The Brethren Inc. Henzy David
As Dusk Falls
8/27/2006 09:49:00 PM
