Wednesday, August 29, 2007
those who are comfortable with each other can sit together without breaking the silence.
well, this, i believe is a very true fact. i mean, if you're uncomfortable with someone, you'd either move away or tell the person or show the person signs right? haha. got it off a book titled "the notebook" that she was reading. kinda forgot the author already. but you should go read it if you can. haha. edit: the notebook's author is called Nicholas Sparks
well. as for printmaking yesterday. it kinda went out well. let's see some pictures. haha.
from this, a linocut, (linoleum cut)
to this and this, which were printed using the linocut and paint on rice paper. so, what's this you ask? well. actually, it's Tensa Zangetsu. Ichigo's Bankai from Bleach. haha.
well, fel mei, this is one of those things that i do in school now. haha. since you were like asking me yesterday i think. haha.
other than that. i kinda slept quite well today. slept till 8.30am in the morning. finally gaining back the sleep that i lost ever since starting school. and i realised a pattern, that the first week of school i'm always energetic, but as the weeks pass, i slowly begin to get more tired and tired. lol. well, guess it's this kind of cycle that goes on in everyday life. haha.
a few words that i would like to say is. Tired Tired Tired Tired and Tired. other than that, i'd also like to say that well. a relationship isn't a bad thing, it isn't meant to be wrapped up in shadows. and it also isn't something to be shy about, after all, you're supposed to be proud that have that partner that you have been blessed with.
ah well. that's enough information for tonight. and, last but not least. Sudoku is ranked 9th on the top ten ways to kill yourself on yahoo! so beware soduku lovers. don't use up too much brain cells and kill yourself for thinking too much. haha.
As Dusk Falls
8/29/2007 11:12:00 PM
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
those who are comfortable with each other can sit together without breaking the silence.
thank God for today's printmaking. it totally went out well. hmm, well. i'm kinda rushing for time. so i can't exactly blog proper. hmm, i'll come back again tml to re elaborate on this post. haha. stay tuned. =P
As Dusk Falls
8/28/2007 10:38:00 PM
Monday, August 27, 2007
ooooh. great. i'm so dead tml. haha. haven't done my linocut yet. jeez.
well, i've got another project to cover. haha. the 3D one just passed, and here comes another gorgon of a task. to build a sculpture out of the 4 geometric shapes that have been made.
well. other than that. today wasn't such a feel-good-day for me, but the day was great nonetheless. had a class picnic smack right in the middle of the "grass patch" in the school. food, food, food and more food! haha.
well. now i'm kinda tired. i don't feel like doing my linocut. but well. somethings have to be done. so. yeah. off i go. for more interesting stuff, read the post before this one. =) it should be able to inspire you. haha.
As Dusk Falls
8/27/2007 11:37:00 PM
Sunday, August 26, 2007
"You can't unscramble scrambled eggs,
but God can make great omelettes out of scrambled eggs."
-Pastor Caleb Chan
well, on this side of the field, is Henzy David. happily enjoying his life, repenting of not placing God first in everything, now placing God first in everything. loving his school life. enjoying outings with that special someone, rebuilding broken relationships with people that he had wronged and the church. and well. just, loving life.
on that side of the field, are those people who've yet to forgive him. people who look at him with eyes that despise, people that just look at him with their perception of him. just plainly wishing to make life difficult for both him and themselves.(note: i'm not talking about anyone in particular; especially the leaders. i'm not talking about you. =P) and well. plainly, not enjoying life.
well. i don't know about those people. i don't care either. me? what do i exactly think? i don't know, if you think that i'm that way then so be it. haha. to me, so long as i'm happy, God's glorified. nothing life threathening happens to me. i'm fine. well, i love being happy go lucky. i just feel that it's so, relaxing. even more when you put God first in your life.Our thoughts have great power in our lives.
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We don't usually get what we deserve, but we do get what we expect. expecting is believing, and you get what you believe. so quit expecting that you're going to fail. Trust God that He will provide, change the situation and through that, teach us about ourselves.
that's one thing that i learnt today from sermon, another thing is that. yes, God truly does bless us with the good stuff in life. but we, have to be very careful not to allow these good things to overtake the position of God in our life. doing that, will thus result in the idolisation of the item or thing in concern.
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Jesus I believe in you, and i would go. to the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth. for you.
As Dusk Falls
8/26/2007 10:41:00 PM
Friday, August 24, 2007
right, first things first. this is the number 402nd post. haha.
secondly, i need to get my homework done. can't pile them up over and over again. so i plan to do them tomorrow!
thirdly, i'm sooooooo proud of myself, i finally managed to complete a collection. which is the Amazing Spider-Man Back in Black series. hahaha.
well, had cell just now. pretty interesting. what's more interesting is the fact that we were playing chinese chess. haha. darn, i realise i make alot of careless mistakes and that i'm very careless. lol. need to work on that. haha.
well, today's an enjoyable day. but just, sometimes, i feel that i just, can't. well. get enough. lol. haha. i'm a happy guy today. haha. i don't know, my mind's a blank now. haha. just finished watching bleach 137 and naruto shippudden 26. haha. shall end here bah.
As Dusk Falls
8/24/2007 11:54:00 PM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
it's that time of the year again. looking back. either that, or i just feel like putting down my thoughts on my blog.
hectic schedule. grueling series of events. unexpected problems. outcasted, outnumbered, rejected, put down, pressed into a corner, unappreciated, hurt, lost, desperate, hopeless, on the verge of breaking down and finally, nearly wanting to give up.
these were the feelings that were running through me for the past few weeks as i went thru what i felt was the toughest period in the whole history of Henzy David. well. i don't think that it's over yet. knowing the way things work around me. i can't exactly say I'm prepared for it. but I'll take it in my stride.
well. somehow or rather, i just feel so alone right now. even though i have all the friends, a superb clique in a superbly great big black school, a great person to talk to and rely on, a handful of caring and concerned brothers(note, handful = 5 or 6), and parents that are interested in what I'm doing if i make the first step. but i just feel lonely in some certain places. like totally voided of the activities there.
well. i prayed for a reboot. a total refreshment. and i guess God really granted me that, answered my prayer. and now, here i am, refreshed, renewed, and reboot-ed. rebuilding my life ain't something easy i guess. but well, it's something that i guess i have to do. after all the stuff that I've done, the wrong impression of myself that i gave to people. hypocritical. mysterious, i achieved what i set out to do that time, to not let anyone know what exactly i was, not to reveal my weaknesses, but it put in motion things that i never thought would come about. things that i didn't want happen.
things change, people change. i want to change for the better, not for the worse. guilty we were, or arguing like it was no one's business, always neglecting the one that was there with us all along, one whom we were unknowingly firing at. the one who took all our shame, all our faults, all our transgressions, sins, anger, hate, rejection and hurt. God, he took it all. what we do onto others, we're not doing onto them, but onto God. that is my sin, it is something that i am guilty of. something that i don't wish to do again.
As the curtains on the last act close, and the whole show comes to an end. life, truly begins. anew. no masks, no facades, no fear, no guards. Just love, just God, You and I.
------
"Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done, but because of who you are."
- Casting Crowns (Who Am I)
As Dusk Falls
8/23/2007 10:44:00 PM
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
everything to me, you're more than a story. more than words on a page, of history.
well, somedays are just special, and somedays are just crappy. this day, although quite a number of funny things, some good, some bad happened, is a special day to me. well, why? some of you might know the reason, yet some of you won't. for those who won't don't bother asking, i won't disclose unless, well. unless you fit the agenda. haha.
i just wanna say thanks, a big thanks, for all the care and concern you've shown me. well, the patience too, and the willingness to help me change my ways. to tell me stuff that i don't want to hear, yet still do it time and time again. well. no words can describe the gratitude that i have for you. nothing in this world can tell what i'm thinking now. =) thank God for you. i guess i needn't say more, you would know. haha.
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well. there's a 2nd person that i want to thank tonight, and that's one of my brothers. ironically, he's the one that's suffered from the most of my crap and bullshit, yet still is tolerant of the bloody shit and the hard times that i give him. presenting, Brother Ben! lol. - well, somehow, blessings in disguise are seldom seen as blessings in disguise, most of the time, they're seen as irritances. no doubt, that i'm guilty of that, but well. now i realise, you are indeed a blessing in disguise. thanks, for helping me, giving me comments and criticisms to help me change. well. a big Thank You. and an apology, for all the bullshit and trouble that i've caused ya.
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no doubt, school's been fun. but well, i guess i'm suffering from the lack off sleep syndrome, and the too long hair syndrome. well. time for me to deal with these problems. haha. other than that problem, which is kinda affecting me, the clique in school rocks. haha. Wency, Gladys, Eilane, Joel, Mark and Bryn. haha.
ah well. special days do have to come to an end too. but special days, will always be etched in memory. never to be forgotten no matter how many things you pile upon them. =)
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what would you do? if you had One More Day?
As Dusk Falls
8/21/2007 11:59:00 PM
Monday, August 20, 2007
from the dust, arise a new soul. one greater than before. for the weak shall become strong, and the poor shall become rich, all this, due to the power that is Christ Jesus, the One whom which we believe.
why is it that some leave and some stay? not a question that i can answer, everyone has their own different reasons to the things that they do, some maybe, don't even have a reason to their actions, like I for one. sometimes, my actions have no reasons behind them, i deem these "acts of randomness".
well, it seems that the place i find joy or find being happy in nowadays is in school. where even doing work is fun. haha. well. stuff happens. things change. but somethings just don't change at all.
As Dusk Falls
8/20/2007 11:29:00 PM
Friday, August 17, 2007
well, way ta go. i got my very first assignment, but, i don't have the materials to do them on. haha. oh great, so, what do i need? an A2 pad of cartridge paper. haha. what do i need to do? 8 different "Blind Drawings" about the size of an A4 piece of paper on these 2 pieces of A2 paper. what are "Blind Drawings" you may ask, well, it's the term for looking at the object, drawing it out, yet not looking at the paper. it's like taking the line for a blind walk. haha, that's what the lecturer said. yup. haha, it isn't easy, you might wanna try it out for the sake of it, i don't discourage you. go ahead, have the time of your life.
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aside from the fun that i'm having in school, well. i've learnt something else, that is what i label the "Ultimate Key to Survival" in this world, well, what is it you may ask. simple, it's called, Bear with the Bullshit that people give you. i agree with what my close friend said, if you wanna make life easier for you, and for everyone else, just listen, and bear with it.
i don't fully agree with that statement thought, that the ultimate key to survival in this world is bearing with the bullshit that people give you, cuz i'm personally a person that wants to hear from every side of the story before making the final judgement or decision.
i personally believe that that is the best way out of things, to hear what everyone wants, have everyone give in abit to each other, see where we can compromise each other and finally, come to an agreement that everyone is happy with. i believe that that is the best way, as everyone has voiced out their opinions, and well, they can't argue anymore if they have already voiced out what they are thinking or feel. it just seems to make the world a better place. i mean, well, you win some and you lose some right? you can't always freaking win can ya?
so hey, that's just my point of view. and of course, once again, there will be some people that can't agree with what i say. of course, i can't expect the world to work my way right? and even if it does, i can't tell you that it won't be such a nice place. haha.
so, the lesson learn from Henzy David's blog post this night is
1) Bear with the bullshit that people give to you
2) Learn to Compromise, voice out opinions and take note of them, and put them into play.
3) Don't always want things to go your way, even if you've got the power to do so.
cool i've got myself a 3 point sermon. hahaha. joker! xD enjoy amigos. a brand new day has just begun!
As Dusk Falls
8/17/2007 11:22:00 PM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
this is one of those greater days that Henzy David has gone thru. well, it's truly been a roller coaster ride in the past, but i guess, things for Henzy David are starting to go thru a turn for the better. haha.
so what's on the activity list today? well, orientation, again. haha, but this time it's abit different, different in a sense that there was actually an activity to do, which was to go to a certain area around the school premises, take down details of the area, and finally, in the end, build a map with the rest of the class. voluntarily took up the leadership role, and in the group were Elaine, Wency, Gladys and Joel(pardon me if i spelt your names wrongly). this group, is well, quite the funny sort, funny in a hilarious manner. haha. and well, fun to be with. and can be described like this. ayh-double u-eey-some.
and i finally get to try some donuts from the donut factory! cool right! and i tell you this, they taste great! haha, heavenly in fact, I'm referring to the double chocolate flavour. haha, white choc on the outside, dark choc crust! heavenly with a capital H. haha.
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henzy's random quote of the day!
"I feel sleepy! haha."
As Dusk Falls
8/15/2007 11:26:00 PM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
hmm, i can't exactly explain it, but i really thank God for it. He's truly blessed me with so much these days. well, firstly, cuz of school, i believe i'm having part of the time of my life in school. haha. it seems that i've made a totally new group of friends, that well, are one heck of a fun bunch! lol. well, they say, it hasn't started yet, the true timetable, now's just orientation. well, let's just see what's in store for the ever optimistic(self-declared!) Henzy David!! haha.
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there's this statement that i find myself agreeing with now.
"those who always seem happy, who are always smiling, are usually the ones that are the most troubled."
how many people can this statement affect? many, i believe. sometimes, it's just so true, that the people who always seem happy, who always look like they haven't got a care in the world, are usually the ones that need the most concern from people. but people seem to like to take a shield up against these words, some of them say "well, it's where you place your security." some say, it's how you look at things. some also say that you've got to be strong and hold up the walls against you. but isn't there any effects that will occur if you keep telling yourself that?
well, my stand is that we should, after all, really look at those people who are really in that state, and think, put yourself in that person's whole situation, with his capabilities and all, and think about how he or she feels, then think about what you'd do if you were that person. don't think with your own capabilities, cuz you don't know how different you can be from that person.
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well. when i've got everything settled and prepared, i'll give you a ring. =)
As Dusk Falls
8/14/2007 10:40:00 PM
Monday, August 13, 2007
well, it has always been this way. the first time i walk into a new environment, i totally feel like an alien, and have this funny feeling in my gut that just feels like getting out of the place and doing stuff that i feel comfortable doing. but well, i knew i couldn't, so i beared with it, cooled down and started thinkin what i usually think. "Henzy David, what are your options?"
so i called Kelvin, after getting his number from both BR and Min, met up with his whole bunch of friends, and well, just, fit in. lol. and by the end of the day, we were talkin with each other like we knew each other for years. the sad thing though, is that we won't be in the same classes. -.- argh. and i'm like so far away from the rest, in VS1Y. -.- again. oh well. it was a nice day spent with them at orientation, and even after orientation, when we went to buy our school stuff. haha.
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nothing will change the words that i said to you. i mean everything i say. i'm willing. i won't break the promises. i won't go against my word. i won't stop. i'm willing.
As Dusk Falls
8/13/2007 11:07:00 PM
Sunday, August 12, 2007
on this cold, stormy singaporean autumn's night, the brethren, totally new and set free due to the events that have happened in such a day to remember, just wants to come here, and jot down his thoughts, in the archives, or chronicles of the brethren, Henzy David himself. (man, i got to stop referring to myself in the third person)
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Thus Far has the Lord helped us.
what i'll remember, what i'll always remember is the both of you. God, and a person that you will never guess his or her's identity. this day, somehow, i just feel a renewing of my spirit, my soul, it's like what i prayed for was answered, in fact, it's not like, it is. what i prayed for was heard by the ears of the father in heaven, and He answered my prayers.
prayers of a new refreshment, of just starting anew all over again, prayers to tear away every single thing that is not of the Lord, prayers for me to once again begin with a blank white canvas and all the beautiful memories that i hold dear. and He did. he took away the hurts, the feeling of being unappreciated, unloved, unrecognised, everything negative that i felt, just, taken away, washed away by His blood and embrace, and my tears and pain.
i left the altar, new, feeling so refreshed, yet, the thing was that i felt different, weird, until someone allowed me to truly see that God had answered my prayers, He had not forgotten me.
there are things in a person's life that will always be carried by that person. things like hurt and joy. but one has to learn that hurt must not be carried. this, i learnt today, truly. when God exchanged His yoke and burden with mine, His light burden, with my heavy one. all the hurts, the rejection, the unappreciation, just removed. He said, "I remember, and that when they reject you when you do good things unto them, it is I that they are rejecting, not you."
my memories of this day will not fade, i will remember it, for on this day, the Lord remembers me. He has blessed me, revealed to me that all my prayers have been answered, even the ones that i didn't remember i prayed. He has blessed me with so much. and He has given me a gift that I truly treasure the most out of all the other gifts. the gift of Love.
Father, this day, i thank you for everything that you have done for me. every prayer that you have answered, my Lord, thank you, for the ability to release the hurts that were held within me thru the tears that were shed today. and Father, thank you, for the person that you have blessed me with that is willing to go thru so much just for me and with me. Daddy God, I Love you. thank you so much. in the name of Jesus, Amen.
"I remember, and that when they reject you when you do good things unto them, it is I that they are rejecting, not you."
As Dusk Falls
8/12/2007 11:53:00 PM
Friday, August 10, 2007
surprisingly, i went into the library today, and stumbled upon a book titled "Shadow of the Wind" and i'm like so into the book although it's only the first chapter, haha, one example is that i started reading the book on the bus, i read it until i didn't even know where i was, which seldom happens. haha. great, i've got a feelin that this is gonna be a good read. haha.
cerebral activities are currently, slow. thoughts that are running in my mind, pure minimal. jeez, i look at myself and i feel my eyes are red, when they actually are not. what's the great summary of these symptoms? the worst enemy of the world, the common F.L.U.!! haha. jeez, i still can joke can't i. haha.
well. i just wanna say, it's about me being more tolerant. =) i'm learning. and well, it's a great experience. haha. glad that you found out your part of the story too. haha.
As Dusk Falls
8/10/2007 10:09:00 PM
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Black Justice; the Red Flag
sometimes, we just can't imagine the great amount of people jammed packed into this small country of Singapore. well, i didn't even imagine that many until i saw the multitude trying to squeeze their way thru to watch the fireworks at the Esplanade area this afternoon. goodness, the whole white pavement become clouded by the darkness of the black hair.
well, i don't know, my first reaction to the crowd was, God, let's get outta here. i'm not gonna squeeze just to watch the skies light up. haha. oh well.
gah, my dad's bloody nagging and now i seem to have lost my train of thoughts. oh well. well, right now, i just wanna say that hey, today is a very enjoyable day! hahaha. aye, admire the red and white, star spangled flag. happy 42nd birthday Singapore! indeed, now, i truly appreciate the country, despite it's small size. haha.
As Dusk Falls
8/09/2007 11:39:00 PM
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
with all the things going around me, i suddenly remember, what i was before, what i was, in the past. i remember,
Black Justice; the Curse of Blackheart
i remember once which i couldn't care less about everything around me, where the world truly revolved around me. me winning, me doing stuff, me going places, me me me. i remember those times, when nothing around me affected me in any manner, my will was my will, my way was my way. and nothing could change my mind about things. i remember a time when nothing, not even the death of a family member could shake the tears from my eyes. i remember, the darkness within me that no one would ever believe. i remember, those times, i used to be so power-hungry. i remember my name, as i called myself in the past, his name, was Blackheart.
its just a wonder, how much God has changed me to become. it's just that, sometimes, people around you don't look at your past. they say, your past is your past, it doesn't matter now. but no, it does. in comparison to my past self and my current self, i'm sure, many would say that i've taken a 180degree turn from bad to good. but sadly, it's just that some people, or most people around us just don't look at it. and they just are concerned about what you are now, not what you have become from before.
taking a look back, i may still be a little selfish now, but not as selfish as before. i used to be very possessive in the past, but i learnt that if you love someone, you've got to give them space. i learnt to think for others instead of only for myself. i learnt to soften my hardened heart, i learnt to treasure those around me. i learnt to listen to and understand people around me. most of all, i learnt to love those around me.
As Dusk Falls
8/08/2007 11:58:00 PM
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Black Justice; the Flight of the Pheonix
treasure the person in front of you be it stranger, friend, close friend or best friend. for you will not know when they will be gone. without leaving you a note.
again, i speak about treasuring those who are with you now. after reading the above sentence which was shown to me by Amelia, somehow, i just feel that i should once again talk about treasuring stuff. this time, not just only the small things. but everything.
why treasure everything? well, you never know when that thing or person will somehow or rather, disappear from the face of the earth. somehow, this issue just strikes me alot. i live in a world where people just tell you to let go, don't hold on to stuff. don't let the things around you affect your life, don't remember the past, don't hold on to it. somehow, it just strikes me, it just makes me think, do these people really know how treasured the thing you're holding on to is?
well, true, what they say may be true and may be good for you. but well. before you lose something, just treasure that thing, or person. don't do things that would make them angry; don't hold grudges; don't let the atmosphere around you affect you, thus making you do something that you'll regret later; most of all, don't forget to thank the person everytime he or she does something for you, and don't forget to treasure that someone, be it a special someone, or a close friend, or a family member. before it's too late. unlike pheonixes, they won't return from the dead. unlike Christ, they won't arise three days later. treasure what you have, what is given to you. you never know when it's going to disappear.
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At last, the Darkness fades into Light.
The Pheonix takes flight, the Light shines.
the chaos retreats, the devils deprived.
know now they will, that our force to be reckoned,
by lamb's blood, power we're given.
Shine, we will, oh Glory be given.
to Christ, to Christ, our Lord who has Risen.
As Dusk Falls
8/07/2007 11:59:00 PM
Black Justice; the Wintercrest Secret
sometimes, even those who never really experience financial problems will experience them too. but through this time, i learnt something.
having little money in your pocket may be a problem, and well, it does make one feel bad. real bad, that's what i can tell you. especially when you've got your transport fees to consider, your daily meals, and well, things that you wanna get and stuff that yoy want to do for people. it really puts a strain on oneself.
but then, i learnt this, that it really isn't about yourself, that no matter how much you plan, sometimes, your plans will fail. no matter how much you try to save, one day it will all be gone. and well, that it's better to bless people with what you have, than to just store it up for yourself. cuz well, God knows. and He sees it whenever you bless someone with what you have. and well, just trust God, cuz, well. in the end, He will provide. =)
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caught the movie "Secret" today. and well, i'd say that it is a very nice movie, for a first directed by Jay Chou. (did i mention me havin a dream about racing cars against him? lol) well, it has been a long time since i caught a chinese movie in a cinema, and well, coming back to it with such a wonderful movie is indeed a great memory. haha. i shan't elaborate more on the movie, or else, i may spoil it for those who don't want it to be spoilt. haha. go watch it! next movies coming up, The Simpsons and Rush Hour 3!
Sunday, August 05, 2007
The Veil that covered my eyes defined,
removed this day it is, I find.
Vision, clear. Soul, set free.
Truth, revealed. Sight, divine.
Black Justice; the Art of Henzy David
days have past, and i find myself being set thinking alot these days. about alot of things which i shall cover in this post. the art of Henzy David, let the Black Justice be put to play.
it seems that i've really been influenced alot by my surroundings, by the things that i hear and the stuff happening around me. this influence, has also made me see things in a different perspective, one which i find myself a great fault with. no doubt, i have been looking at people with eyes that judge, with eyes that look so much deeper into people's words for things that do not exist. this veil of mine, created because i accepted and allowed the influence around me to change me, has blinded me and caused me to see things in a manner which should not be seen.
"I can hear the voice of the deceiver... ...only because i choose to."
i realise that is the final words of the broken sentence which was in a dream i had. that truly, i could hear the voice of the deceiver only because i chose to.
looking back, i realise that indeed, when i first stepped into this church, the church of Faith Community Baptist, i had a certain respect for the Senior Pastor(SP). but i realise that over the years, this veil, has just led me to see things, his actions, his words, with eyes that only look at these things as cover ups for his actions. i realise, i was wrong. what he spoke about today at service really made me understand, backed up by the words of my dearest sister Amelia. now, i truly can see the things that he has gone thru.
i feel, that i too can understand how he feels, just cuz i've gone thru it too. rejection, the hurts, the pain, the criticism, the putting down. all these things, just like King David, my namesake, has gone thru. i feel, that well, i've wronged him, just cuz of the influence around me. now, its not too late to turn back isn't it?
respect. well, i've been hearing about this term being said for quite sometime. and well, over the past few days, someone that has truly gained my respect is this fellow friend of mine from Trybe, a senior as they would say, but truly, a respectable person, and a follower of Christ Jesus. He is none other than Sam Victor. =)
well, the things that he has shown me, has done for me, really, just put me in a situation with no other response but an awe struck open mouth. the care and concern that was shown, the things that he has done before and now. well. i've truly got nothing else to say, but this. that he has gained my respect, and thanks, for all the things that he has blessed me with and has done for me.
as for pastor, well. i guess, now, i won't see things thru that veil anymore. cuz it's just, blocking me from so many things. made me so selfish, so, wanting to prove my point that i'd do it at any cost. but now, i'm not gonna allow that to happen anymore. i've cause enough pain, enough misunderstanding, enough wrong. now, it's time for me to set things right. like i said, Black Justice.
I'm not gonna look at things in that manner again. now, it's a brand new day. a new beginning. i thank God for showing me these things, for the people that have made me realise these things. and well, i also specially thank God for my sister Amelia.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. - 1 Corinthians 13:2
As Dusk Falls
8/05/2007 11:50:00 PM
Thursday, August 02, 2007
"We would never fight to save what we do not Love." - Stephen Jay Gould
sometimes, i wish i wasn't so prone to anger. man, i need to go watch the anger management movie. lol! and all cuz of anger i nearly lost something so important to me today. and i really never ever wanna go thru that again.
sometimes, i wish i wasn't so impatient, in fact, sometimes, i wish i was like Melvin, my cell bro. like, whatever he goes thru, whatever happens to him, nothing ever seems to get him angry. i guess now i know why i have that strange bit of respect for him, it's like the role model kind of respect. haha. compliments to you bro. =)
so, Father I pray, that you help me change myself from within. thank you that you have already helped me deal with how to not get angry when dealing with my friends, now Lord, help me in not getting angry when dealing with people that i truly love. =) I wanna be just like you Lord, just like Jesus. my God, my Father, i also pray that you send your Holy Spirit to just guide me and to keep anger and wrath away from me, let me be as tolerant, as patient, as kind, as loving as you are Lord. I know you smile upon me as I pray this, Lord, I can feel it. =) in the form of tears, as the song 'hosanna' plays, thank you Lord. that you have died for me, that you will not want me to end only as saved, but end, just like you Jesus. thank you. so, In the Mighty and Most Precious Name, I pray all this, and i thank you for the answered prayer. We Exalt your name Jesus. Amen!
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33
As Dusk Falls
8/02/2007 11:17:00 PM
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
PS, read red paragraph first. =)
sometimes, it just isn't fair is it. that life kicks you in the ass like that? all because of what? all because you were trying to do something good for the people that were under fire, all because you had cared about whether or not the people around you will arrive in the same place as you. all because of a simple bit of compassion for the people that the majority thought did wrong. well, i shan't comment, cuz if i comment somemore, i shall once again be the one under fire. sometimes, it just doesn't pay to be good.
so, it really doesn't matter to me right now, whether or not people will respect me, flame me, shoot me, scold me, persecute me or even reject me. cuz why? i know now who are those that will turn away the moment i'm in trouble, i know now those people who will run and cower within the majority and be perceived safe. and I don't care, cuz i've got the people who will care for me no matter what happens, and in life, those people are the people that you wanna be with. since well, you've already given your trust to them.
truth be told, i've given my trust to everyone, i just respect and honour those who did not betray my trust, a few to name not all, cuz all is too many. i'll just name the ones who stood me thru this period. as follows, Amelia, Ivan, Melvin, Jasper, Hannah. strange, it seems that Jasper's still there, if not, always there, ever since so long. you know what that means? it means, he's a true friend. one that people can rely on. cool ain't it? not saying the rest ain't people that can be relied on.
well. truth be told, I'm actually not bothered about the damned problem anymore, although some people just don't believe me and well, i don't know, can't believe that a person like me, who can easily let go of past happenings and problems, emotional entanglements and stuff exists. only the matter of whether i want to or not. well, i'd like to just say, if you can believe in a miraculous God, a God that rose from the dead after 3 days exists, why can't you believe people like me exist? is it that unbelievable?
PS, if you have been reading the past few paragraphs in a very negative, offensive tone, then i would like you to re read them once again. without the tone, since, well. it's just my thoughts and it's not a negative thing. =) this is just a disclaimer notice, just in case anyone misunderstands again.
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well. today is a happy day. although i'm once again broke, which now i don't wanna think about since thinking about it only makes me feel more broke, i wanna think of the happy stuff that happened. hmm, highlight? Fish and Co.! man, it's been awhile and it really rocks to be there again. hahahahha!! and it's been awhile since i felt this way, ecstatic. man, i love God and I love the person/people God has blessed me with. halleilujah! Praise the lord, thank you Father!! and not forgetting the Holy Spirit! who's always there, never far! =D PTL PTL PTL!!! (just in case you don't know, PTL stands for Praise the Lord! xD)
As Dusk Falls
8/01/2007 11:33:00 PM
