Wednesday, June 25, 2008
today was quite a good day. a very early celebrating for Ethan Chia! lol. one bloody month in advance. lol. but still.
discussed some stuff. dinner, ice cream. cool.
there was once that i thought that a few groups of people were my family. groups, organisations, companies, affiliations, cliques. but now, i don't think so. very few, very very few. there's only one thing that i can say.
the Soul Guardians are my family. now, i finally understand our true purpose, as non-conformists. as people who in a fight or flight situation, choose to fight.
The Clear Path
Henzy David
Canon IXUS 850IS
As Dusk Falls
6/25/2008 11:01:00 PM
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
get smart man!
totally cool movie. very intellectual. haha. but it's a darn funny movie. i'll rate it 5stars! go watch it. don't mess with the Zohan is pretty cool too. haha
short post.
As Dusk Falls
6/24/2008 11:07:00 PM
Monday, June 23, 2008
23. 2 + 3 = 5
today's a special day.
differentiation.
Dear God,
it's just a wonder. when the world goes one way, and you go another. what is exactly going on? who is right and who's not? when you find a few who dare to stand up and be different, to challenge and question the powers above you so as to know the real truth. are we doing the right thing? or are they. or is it just once again a difference in perspective. what about definites? is there a definite right and a definite wrong? or is the truth just a vague, distortion of your own mind's thoughts? what are we considered then, deceivers of ourselves?
truth be told. the complete confusion of the human race can only be blamed on ourselves. our preference to make every situation complicated for ourselves.
As Dusk Falls
6/23/2008 02:44:00 PM
Friday, June 20, 2008
well. as it seems, my tagboard has officially been flooded. it's a good thing. big thanks to all those who tagged my board. now, it's time for me to reply.
ANGELAA !;D: Chimpanzee arhs Chimpanzee , Your words getting chimmer and chimmer everyday lehs ;D / Sihan! :D: Ya, Angela. HAHAHA
- yes. indeed. but it's for the sake of the word's many different meanings.
laypeng: why you grow so tallll, roarrrrr. how random
-damn random sia you. evil one!!! hahaha!!!
exlancious: hi henzy,its alex,like ur blog very much=)1st time cing it=nice devotion to GOD,i would like to learn 4m u
-hmm. thanks alex. hmm, learn from me. i dun really know what i can pass on to you. just, set your heart upon following him. finding God, it's about your will. if you don't have that will, even if you got the best pastors or leaders around, it's not gonna help you. it's plainly, simply just about how much you want to be near God, how much you feel you need him. =) cheers mate.
Amelia: Hello.. hope u are doing fine.. =)
-hello. it's been awhile hasn't it. i'm doing fine. you?
thidar(:: hey..Henzy it was great to have u as our group leader..anyway lin me up if u r free..byes! since no one tag,i shall do it then..HELLO henzy
-haha. thank you. =)
CHEEPORKSHAN : I"m forming a group, wondering if you'll join in, it's called..... ZEALOUS! (: ( for volunteers who went tvc!)
-hmm, i'll consider. gimme more info.
>.< sadist: Hello =) Im interested in attending church and believing in christ..will u lead me? Hallelujah
-hmm. first of all. i'll need to know if you're in singapore. then i'll see what i can do. =)
Angelaaa !:D: Hi Idiot Father , soooo fierce , rahs ! Iidot Chimpanzeee !xD
-lol. thanks arh.
and here's a stupid video. Bang Head Here
As Dusk Falls
6/20/2008 09:28:00 PM
Thursday, June 19, 2008
"...time for a new age"
i realised i'm very short on updates. haha. so yeah.
Trybe Volunteer Camp: Step Up 2.5, 13/06 - 15/06/08
the big talk about this camp, me as an ex-comm member, interferences from outside people who just don't know their place. well, i guess i'll talk about this matter another time huh.
Day 1
sessions, debate and supper, helping out a friend late at night.
Day 2
sessions, taken away from the De Ion race to do planning, emo-ed at basketball court. waited for the groups to come back. then was riot night. an event for us to showcase our group talents. then once again, meeting up. slept at around 3 am.
Day 3
last day, scavenger hunt, lifebook and the closing session. a little magic trick where i freaked myself out cuz of nervousness. well, i don't know, but i guess it adds to the stage performance experience. haha. and then it was off to JEC for lunch and homeward bound.
well. i don't know what to say about it. but all i can say is that from the feedback i heard from the underground, it's not exactly that satisfying in general. while some of us think that it's a grand success, i think that it was enjoyable at certain times, but pretty normal during the rest. right now, it's up to TSG to usher in the new age. one man's dream will finally be fulfilled.
now isn't that right, Soul Guardians?
As Dusk Falls
6/19/2008 10:43:00 PM
Friday, June 13, 2008
as my previous post stated. judgement and vengeance aren't mine to claim. my choice to release this care still stands. with the recent changes and new developments, it's just hard to believe how much they still don't trust me. the darkness still enshrouds them. given that. i have chosen my path. i will do what i believe is right.
"Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God." - Acts 5:38-39
i lift it up into your hands. you call the shots.
"..but by the darkness they shall perish. an everlasting enemy dawns upon us as the last of our kind comes forth."
As Dusk Falls
6/13/2008 03:49:00 PM
Thursday, June 12, 2008
"...welcome to our world."
ice skating yesterday. got rope burned. lol. darn. first time. well, there is after all, a first time for everything. haha. pretty tired out. i mean, my leg/calf muscles are generally hurting. haha. waist is hurting too, must've been tired out using them to balance myself. could say i had a great time, really enjoyed myself. haha. there's this feeling, like, i wanna go back to skate somemore, cuz somehow, it just feels cool. like. well. cool. in both sense, feeling, and weather. haha. dinner with Angela and Sihan, talked about loads of stuff. especially for angela. lol.
today, 12.06.08. headed down to bugis to get stuff, walked from lavender. then went over to imm, dinner. and home.
we made a choice. we'll drop all pursuit of your destruction and decimation. it's a choice of release. let the betrayal come if it must. those eyes will forever see in that light if they continue to make the choice to do so. judgement and vengeance is not mine to claim. we'll leave things at it is here. my prestige, has been played.
the Friday the 13th approaches. my day awaits.
As Dusk Falls
6/12/2008 10:56:00 PM
Monday, June 09, 2008
"...we're all given a negative stereotype."
when you're young, you build yourself up, train yourself, strengthen yourself, so that when you enter adolescence, you can fend for yourself with your strength, your might, your "brute force". but when you grow into adolescence, when you find one that you love, you control yourself. your strength becomes your weakness, even gaining evolution, becoming a burden to you. a control over your strength is gained, or rather, needed to prevent yourself from causing harm to your loved ones.
indeed, humans are intriguing. we strive to gain what we think we need. but in the end, we strive to prevent the thing that we thought we needed from harming those that we love, or in other words, those that we need most. we aim to become strong. but once we become strong, we control our strength. the meaningless pursuit of life continues, the cycle repeats over and over again. strength is not the only thing that humans seek, fame, fortune, materials. all this to cover up the fact that we need one thing more than all the rest, love. the ultimate cure, the elixir of life. with love, all things can be done. because love is the thing that makes the impossible possible.
as our human souls continually lie, make up stories, deceive, manipulate and create excuses, reasons and "facts" to get what we desire, we neglect the true thing that we need to do, to love others for who they are. we choose to instead focus on getting the person within our circle of influence, and then moulding them into what we think they should look like. often neglecting the fact that it's not what we want them to look like. but what they really were supposed to become.
it's not the human mind that decides the end product of a human being. what we say, may not be true. what we think, may just be a stereotypical warped delusion of the truth. our decisions and choices may be affected by our past, our perspective and culture. who then is worthy of judging, of saying what's right and what's wrong? definitely not us.
stop the hate. rid yourself of stereotypes. stop judging people. and start loving them, accepting them for who they are. childlike-ness does not mean childish-ness. being naïve is not being stupid. having hope and faith isn't being ridiculous or out of this world. not everything that you think is right. a right in your mindset, may be a wrong in another's mindset.
"...you have no reason to hate me, no excuse to ostracise me, no evidence to wrong me. consider, by any chance, if they find out the truth. what would their reactions be, would you still have that trust that they place in you? what about those who you haven't gained control over? what would you tell them, once the darkness has been unveiled?"
As Dusk Falls
6/09/2008 08:04:00 PM
Thursday, June 05, 2008
"...the shadow of ourselves, a painting of love."
words can be deceiving. just like the above sentence. the phrase "shadow of ourselves" is generally used in a negative context, in common usage, "a shadow of our former selves." but my usage, is a contradiction to that. a prescribed, blessed future of hope.
its a wonder. defying gravity, telepathy, teleportation, phasing. misdirection and deception are the greatest tools. no matter how nice the names are given, we all admit that fact. we are deceivers, liars, conmen. but all in all, we are entertainers.
"Mundus vult Decipi, ergo Decipiatur"
"The world wants to be Deceived, so let it be Deceived"
let them have what they want. deception it shall be.
"...tell them the truth, the truth will set us free."
As Dusk Falls
6/05/2008 10:11:00 PM
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
"...I come to you, at the final hour."
current mood "semi-conscious exuberance."
right, the tiredness is like making me high. i mean, i have a high tendancy to laugh at even nothing when i'm tired. lol. or sleepy. well, i'm not that tired till i can just fall asleep anytime. i'm just abit sleepy. haha.
i just watched the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. which i rate 4.5/5 and I'm moving on to my next movie, Juno. you could say I'm pretty tired. currently waiting for my dinner to come home. haha.
a big thanks to everyone who's concerned and left their great concern for me on my tagboard. and also to those who did not post, but are still secretly concerned for me. =) indeed. it was an emo post. but still, i like it. i mean. it's a form of putting into words my emotions, feelings and current thoughts. well, if you know my blogging style, it's whatever comes into my head at the current point of time goes into my fingers and types out of the keyboard and comes out as pixelated letters on the blog. yup. lol. that's a giant-extra-got-time-to-kill description.
well. it's till here. =) today's just a minor update. haha.
已经习惯你的双手牵着我的那种温柔
As Dusk Falls
6/03/2008 06:16:00 PM
Sunday, June 01, 2008
the past few days i've been thinking. what really am i? who am i? i wonder. i think. i'm pissed with myself. irritated, that i have to take my life on as an act in which few know the truth. it's true.
"It is quite interesting to see the many of us using ours brains to utilize
the best form of defense we have developed so far: acting. The human race is
full of fakers. All the world's a stage. How true. The true skill is in doing it
convincingly. As an artist of sorts, I am compelled to convince others of my
lies and have devoted much of my life to perfect this skill. Go ahead and ask
how many of your friends wish to learn about detecting lies in others? Or
rather, how many wish to learn how to lie convincingly? A skill worth knowing,
definitely.
All of us are actors. Our lives are a freestyle, and what we see on stage
or on tv is merely a form of choreographed life. A simulation. No more, no less. "
quoted from Ethan's blog. it's so true. all of us really are actors. especially me. another thing that really is true is what ethan said about me months ago. "you're misdirection is pretty good." indeed. my whole life has been the greatest misdirection. myself, the way i talk, the words i choose to use, the things i say to certain people. very few get to see my true self.
what i'm thinking about now is why. why must people see me in that light? can't they see that i've changed? i'm no longer the person that used to be before. must people really take the past me and emphasize on the point that i used to be not such a good person in your sight? must that rumor, that gossip forever be placed into motion within this place? must it be passed down all the way?
i seldom post my feelings. but truth be told. at this current moment, there's no one to tell them to. i feel hurt, i feel sad, like there's really no one there for me. like the world just hates me because of what they think that i've done wrong. they haven't tried to prove it with the source. they just prove it with the people they trust. why? why must it be this way.
think about it. you don't know who i really am. you don't know what i have really done. yet you judge me in this light and spread the word that i'm not a good person to be with? just because you think that this will protect your people? you willingly sacrifice a soul that is of innocence to save the people in a situation which is not confirmed, assumed, and may only be right in your own context.
i am also human. think about it. put yourself in the shoes of Henzy David. feel the pain that he bore for years past. you don't even know my history, yet you judge me with eyes that in your perspective is justice.
give him a chance. just like the few who have chosen to do so. then you will know his true power, his true capability. trust him. he's not what you think he is.
"...only but a shadow of the wind."
As Dusk Falls
6/01/2008 10:48:00 PM
