Saturday, September 29, 2007
sometimes, i just wonder. i do so much, i put in so much. i just wonder whether it's worth it.
As Dusk Falls
9/29/2007 11:15:00 PM
Friday, September 28, 2007
who am I? : Henzy David.
what do i call myself? : Frostwhisper; Frost, Black Frost, Mhystry, Black Justice, the Brethren
occupation: student, trybe volunteer, collector
hobby? : collecting stuff, as of current, Amazing Spider-Man comics. playing computer games, usually Real Time Strategy(RTS), racing games of First Person Shooter(FPS). going out with friends, listening to music, watching Anime and drawing(preferably not still life or non moving subjects)
music? : gospel(Planetshakers, hillsong), rock, J-Pop.
treasured values : loyalty, friendship, trust, love, hope.
believes in: Equality; between the young and the old or authority and those under authority, freedom of speech, believing in others, the never give up attitude, fighting for the things that you love, God, Jesus Christ, and of course, in oneself. going the distance for the people that you care for.
strengths: navigation(known for finding way(s) around (both literal and figurative)), encouraging. other strengths either hidden(not revealed to others) or unknown
weaknesses: better left unrevealed.
number: 5, 13
hangouts: Suntec City/Marina Square, Esplanade Rooftop, Vivo City Rooftop, two towers of Palawan Beach, Plaza Singapura
is happy when: people appreciate him for the effort that he has made for them. sees the people he loves happy. when he goes out with friends. has the chance and ability to serve God.
when stressed : eats, thinks.
----------
what am i actually doing now? sitting in front the computer screen, listening to Hillsong's Ultimate Worship cd, and well, doing the thing that i've just picked up. emo-ing, or rather, just thinking. thinking about what? well. just that there are so many things happening right now, that i thank God that my project week(holiday) is here.
what did i do what i did on the first part of this post for? well, i have no idea. i was just thinking about it while i was bathing just now. so i just felt like doing it, so i did. well. yeah. that's that. haha. i don't think that i can even blog more. off i go then.
As Dusk Falls
9/28/2007 07:56:00 PM
Thursday, September 27, 2007
As always, i take the road less travelled. always fighting for that i want, for those who i believe in. what am i? what truly am i? what power do i have? what ability do i have to keep those things that i love. to protect those who i believe in and love? yet, setback after setback, why do i still not give up? why do i still choose to go forth and believe in those who i love? some questions, truly, i have no answers for them. but it still doesn't change the fact that i'd still do it again, and again, and again.
kinda feel abit sick, head's hot and stuff due to running thru the rain just now just to pass someone something. haha, the things that i'd do for people. jeez.
the only question that i want to ask now. the only question that i have right now, is, would you still fight for what you wanted? or have you allowed yourself to be affected by the things around you, your ambitions and all and decided that it's not something that can be achieved, or it's not something that can be granted. will you still fight for it?
As Dusk Falls
9/27/2007 07:11:00 PM
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
what can i say? nothing more. because every word holds nothing. no power, no worth. nothing. my only source of comfort is my Father in Heaven. the one, that will never let me down no matter what. that will always be there more me in every situation. and as much as i try to be like Him, i can never be. bue to my lack of patience. my lack of grace.
i just don't understand. if you really want something, won't you go forward and do whatever it takes to get it? i understand that in some cases, situations prevent you from doing so. but still, does that affect you. won't it make you want to get it more, or at any chance that is given to you? chances have been given, you've taken them. but why does it still seem like nothing's changed? why does it still seem as though nothing happened. like as if it was the same as before.
i understand that situations affect people. but i'm willing to understand, or rather, i'm understanding that. yet, why is it so tough? why is it that it seems like i'm still rejected and left out of everything that's happening? what about the things that were said? the requests that were made?
as much as i try to be understanding, as much as i try to strive as hard as i can so as to make things easier. i'm still human, i still need encouragement. i still don't want to be left out. i still want to know what's happening. i still have feelings, i'm still flesh and blood, capable of being hurt by words and actions. as much as i need to be understanding, i want to be understood too. what have i been so stressed about? it's really all this. what makes me feel so pissed off so easily. is the fact that i put in so much, yet nothing seems to change. the fact that i chose to give the chance, yet, it's taken and treated as though it was given on a whim, given freely, and not appreciated. what am i supposed to do now?
i'm training my tolerance, my patience. yet, there are still things that can be done for me right? even when i'm tired, when i'm stressed out. i still make the effort. is it too much to ask, just for the same effort to be made for me?
questions, just so many questions.
As Dusk Falls
9/26/2007 06:38:00 PM
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
well. there be times like this. the title of this post is named Blue Moon rising.
simply put it. i'm learning. well, learning to do what? learning to just trust God. to pray daily. to just trust God with everything that i'm doing. well. it's not easy. but i guess, it does well.
there was this thing in school today, something about imagination. so we were told to imagine ourselves glowing with a certain color. well, my color was ice-blue. it's like the aura thing see. and the lecturer then continued to explain that sometimes that color that you see yourself glowing in, or use to represent yourself may be, or can be used to describe your character. so, what does ice-blue actually represent? a question that i have yet to answer.
we all cry out for another, a companion. why should we even reject that cry? why should we even tell ourselves that we don't? what is there to fear? why are we so afraid of relying on others? why are we so afraid of embracing the fact that we cannot live life by our own strength? why are we not giving ourselves that chance to believe in another?
to those who believe in me, and those who still believe in me. i give you my thanks. i know how hard it is to believe in someone, yet always have the person let you down in one way or another. but still, like you, i have chosen to continue believing, to continue trusting, to reject all the things that people say about the people that we believe in and continue on believing in that person, to continue trusting in that person. it would take a million words to show you the true depth of my gratitude. this is why, i never stop thanking you people. because i know how hard it is, yet things don't change overnight. well, once again, thank you.
There were somethings in the World
that we were never meant to understand.
One of them, is Love.
As Dusk Falls
9/25/2007 08:29:00 PM
Monday, September 24, 2007
"There is a void in the hearts of everyone of us which can only be filled by one thing. That one thing, is Love." - Henzy David
As Dusk Falls
9/24/2007 09:48:00 PM
Sunday, September 23, 2007
today's sermon was preached by Pastor Melvyn, and it was regarding inner peace. well, i felt the sermon was rather timely. considering all the things that have been happening both to me, and to the people around me. well, God truly works wonders, even during the times when you least expect it. or rather, especially during the times that you least expect it. haha. i really thank God for all the things that He has done for me. and even more, all the people that He has placed in my life. and also, an even greater thanks for those whom i feel have a much more special meaning to me. haha.
well, as the saying goes. Alls well that ends well.
As Dusk Falls
9/23/2007 10:37:00 PM
Saturday, September 22, 2007
well. i just thank God for today. what is done, is done.
As Dusk Falls
9/22/2007 07:50:00 PM
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
truth be told. i'm stressing out. my feelings are all over the place. in fact, i am all over the place. currently, i feel that i myself am abit mentally unstable. but not unstable in that manner, just literally roller coaster style.
why? i can say that i'm not too sure. i can say that i know the reasons why. choices. choices. choices. why is it that things are so complicated sometimes?
As Dusk Falls
9/18/2007 09:57:00 PM
Monday, September 17, 2007
today wasn't such a bad day. well, i'm still kinda tired. not sure why, well. this time tired meaning more of sleepy-tired than tired-tired. haha. someone tell me how do i exactly do research. haha.
sighs. chocolate is so addictive. i just want more. lol. it actually helps me in more than one way. when i'm sick, i eat chocolate. when i'm sad i eat chocolate. when i'm stressed i eat chocolate. when i'm hungry, i eat chocolate. when i feel like eating chocolate, i eat chocolate. haha. well. to Henzy David, chocolate can mean = (1) a cure to sickness (2) a stress relieving agent (3) an endorphin releasing agent (4) a happiness inducing agent.
now i know, just how difficult it is to truly forgive a person when that person commits a sin. I learnt to do what Jesus did. to hate the sin and not the sinner.
somehow or rather. once a person enters another person's life. they intertwine with each other, no matter what happens. the cannot be separated. maybe yes, physically. but in memory, in soul. it can never, or would never happen.
As Dusk Falls
9/17/2007 09:20:00 PM
Saturday, September 15, 2007
it seems that for the past few times my saturdays have always been stay in. well. it's a good thing, helps me save money, and also gives me time to do my currently piled-up homework. haha. jeez, it sure doesn't pay to slack anymore. and what's more, i don't have a reason to since i'm doing what i want. haha. great. now i'm ranting about it. haha. but nonetheless, today was a great day. kinda tired though, i'm not sure why, but i just am.
well. other than that, i'm currently looking to buy this card game called "Ugly Dolls" haha. i suppose mind café has it. haha.
somehow, i've got a natural attraction to the sound produced by piano keys.
last words, tired tired tired tired tired. my eyes be closing. haha.
Holy, you are holy. all my life i give it to you cuz your holiness is all i desire, all i desire my Lord.
As Dusk Falls
9/15/2007 10:00:00 PM
fear. fear is the only entity, the key to defeat. fear is what makes you feel afraid, guilty, hopeless, despair. fear. the entity that must not be allowed into a life.
choice. choices are the things that we have to make. choices are the things that you need to make. it is the cause and effect of most of the things that happen to us. it is the agent that allows us hope and joy, or despair and sorrow. but once again, it is not an excuse, neither is it a reason, for us to do things that we like to do. it is not an excuse to be using to cover up for what we have done.
responsibility and consequence. these are the things that our choices will bring us. with great power, comes great responsibility. God has granted us a great power, the power of choice. but our power of choice, will definitely bring great responsibility. and our choices, will definitely result in consequences that we can never escape from. what must come, will come. what must be done, will be done. if not by me, then definitely, by someone else, even without me pulling strings. if it was meant to be, it will definitely be.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
sometimes, your heart knows the things that your mind doesn't. a greater understanding of even the situation you are in that you understand.
i just have to tell you this. i just have to. yet i find myself unable to do so. because of the consequences of my actions.
As Dusk Falls
9/13/2007 08:24:00 PM
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
well. scrap the PSP slim goal. after thinking, i just feel that i don't exactly need it. it's more of a temporal wanting impulse than a need nor a long lasting want. other than that, it's also quite costly. haha.
other than that. i'm just so tired. physically, mentally, emotionally, in anyway that you can think of. i'm pushing myself to go on. holding on. unconsciously, to God. or must that be conscious?
sighs. i'm confused people. i'm running dry. i tried running away. but i know that in the end, it'll all come back to me one way or another, so that was no point. i tried pushing it aside, but i'm not exactly one that will let problems stay as problems. i tried not thinking about it, going out with people. but in the end, when i'm alone, i still think about it. i still am here. my heart's still open.
well. i don't know. God. i just don't know. somehow God. just tell me what to do will you? thank you for the people that you have given to me in my time of need. thank you for showing me those who will stand by me because they choose to Lord. truly, you know how i'm really feeling. lonely, even though i've always got so many people around me. helpless and lost, even though i always seem to know what to do. hurt, fearful, afraid, even though i always seem so strong. tired, even though i always seem so energetic. helpless, even though i know what to say when people are in need. Lord. i thank you for always using me. for always letting me be a blessing to others, letting me have the opportunities to teach and to learn. i thank you for dying for me. i thank you, that when i was so unworthy of your love, of your care, of your concern. that you cae down, laid your life on the cross, because you chose to do so. thank you.
No occasion justifies hatred, no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. today, i will love God and what God loves.
As Dusk Falls
9/12/2007 10:56:00 PM
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
11 september, a few years ago, marvel comics released a black cover for the Amazing Spider-Man in comemoration of the 11 sept bombings, now, a few years later. though the world is still quite affected by it, Henzy David, yes, currently at this moment praying that all those who were affected will be fine, is doing three things.
1) Having thoughts of getting his hands on that particular black issue
2) Wishing Adeline Pang An Ning a Happy 17th birthday
3) Blogging, thinking of his goals till Christmas, and thinking of whether Adeline will slaughter him for putting her full name down here. haha.
right. Happy birthday Adeline. =P
hmm. my goals until Christmas. yes yes. i haven't left them out.
a) Save up enough money to get myself a PSP slim. as a personal Christmas present to myself
b) don't slack, do my homework so that i don't pile them up.
c) exercise regularly. i don't want to have a weak body. haha.
d) grow in deeper intimacy with the Lord
As Dusk Falls
9/11/2007 11:26:00 PM
Sunday, September 09, 2007
"The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes mysterious, awesome and indescribable, magnificent world to itself." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
relentless hope. let alone a glimpse of it. a glimpse of that which is called hope. i will take it. too many are the unanswered questions. but what is my next move? what will i truly do? truly, a leopard cannot change its spots. but God can turn those spots into nothingness, spotless and clean, pure and holy.
it's almost at it's end. yet, every end is a new beginning. nothing ever comes to and end.
As Dusk Falls
9/09/2007 09:36:00 AM
Monday, September 03, 2007
today is indeed a special day for someone ain't it. haha. well, Happy birthday Amelia!! haha. =P although this is like the umpteen time that i wished you that already, but i figured wishing you once more won't hurt would it. =P
well. things are on my mind now. and the biggest question that's posted so far is, these feelings inside me, do i reveal them or not? do i let my guard down, or not? but what's the form of my feelings being placed? well. here, of course, on my blog. where else would i have the places to place down my feelings in words? so that in time, i can return, back to these pages and reflect on them. but once again, the question comes, should i or should i not? well. here's where i need advice.
well. how bout we try it for a sec. recently, i've really been suffering from stress brought upon me by myself. well, like for example, today. i'm like having a flu now. sighs, why? i don't know. the workload doesn't seem to be heavy yet. but i just feel that it is. why? i've got no idea. well, maybe it's because i've been allowing myself to listen to others speak. i'm not too sure. well. it's like one of the biggest problems that i'm facing now. well. i guess it is the only problem that i'm facing now. there are like no other problems that i'm facing now. aside for the money problem, which i'm currently trusting in God for. haha. well. i know He will provide. haha.
well, smile Henzy David. God's here and there's nothing that can put you down.
As Dusk Falls
9/03/2007 09:16:00 PM
Saturday, September 01, 2007
stuff happens, well. things do, they happen everyday, every single second, and they never stop happening. but the problem only comes when we allow these things that happen to affect us. so much so as it puts us down, discourages us.
as i was telling my mei felicia last night on the way home. if we choose to look at a wall as a whole bunch of bricks, instead of a wall. it would be easier for us to take it down. it's almost the same thing for our problems. if we choose to look at it as a whole chuch of problems, of course we won't be able to solve them. but break down the problem into small bits and pieces, find the cause of them, and deal with them one by one.
stress, pressure, fear, laziness and slacking. these are the few factors that will prevent success in the things that you want to set yourself to do. these are some of the things that you have to prevent yourself from doing.
"the Greatest Gift one can receive is to have the chance,
just once in our lives, to make a difference."
-Doctor Stephen Strange, Sorcerer Supreme (Amazing Spider-Man #500)
[added at 10:16pm 01/09/07; title : to love with free will ]
been here to whole day. well, here refers to home. working on the 3d project only to get the final one complete. hmm. well, i just watched 'Bruce Almighty' and well, it kinda really made me think. once more. how selfish people can become, and how, if God were to answer all our prayers, chaos would ensue in this world(in layman's terms it would be how chaotic the world would be in).
in accordance to answering our prayers, God also gives us the free will to choose. a particular conversation between bruce and God was this.
Bruce: how do you make someone love you without affecting free will?
God: well, now you know how i feel.
well, that really gave me an insight into stuff. that although God gave us the freedom of choice, many of us still choose not to love God, and what's more, blame Him for all the bad things that are happening to us.
the bbq last night that replaced CG. and my apologies for not knowing that you'd be the only girl Felicia mei. =P who is ever camera shy in the right side of the pic. haha.
Jesus I believe in you. No matter how dark would the darkest night be, i know that you'll shine through. or rather, we will shine through, you, me and God. together.
As Dusk Falls
9/01/2007 12:17:00 PM
