Wednesday, September 26, 2007
what can i say? nothing more. because every word holds nothing. no power, no worth. nothing. my only source of comfort is my Father in Heaven. the one, that will never let me down no matter what. that will always be there more me in every situation. and as much as i try to be like Him, i can never be. bue to my lack of patience. my lack of grace.
i just don't understand. if you really want something, won't you go forward and do whatever it takes to get it? i understand that in some cases, situations prevent you from doing so. but still, does that affect you. won't it make you want to get it more, or at any chance that is given to you? chances have been given, you've taken them. but why does it still seem like nothing's changed? why does it still seem as though nothing happened. like as if it was the same as before.
i understand that situations affect people. but i'm willing to understand, or rather, i'm understanding that. yet, why is it so tough? why is it that it seems like i'm still rejected and left out of everything that's happening? what about the things that were said? the requests that were made?
as much as i try to be understanding, as much as i try to strive as hard as i can so as to make things easier. i'm still human, i still need encouragement. i still don't want to be left out. i still want to know what's happening. i still have feelings, i'm still flesh and blood, capable of being hurt by words and actions. as much as i need to be understanding, i want to be understood too. what have i been so stressed about? it's really all this. what makes me feel so pissed off so easily. is the fact that i put in so much, yet nothing seems to change. the fact that i chose to give the chance, yet, it's taken and treated as though it was given on a whim, given freely, and not appreciated. what am i supposed to do now?
i'm training my tolerance, my patience. yet, there are still things that can be done for me right? even when i'm tired, when i'm stressed out. i still make the effort. is it too much to ask, just for the same effort to be made for me?
questions, just so many questions.
As Dusk Falls
9/26/2007 06:38:00 PM
