quoted from Ethan's blog. it's so true. all of us really are actors. especially me. another thing that really is true is what ethan said about me months ago. "you're misdirection is pretty good." indeed. my whole life has been the greatest misdirection. myself, the way i talk, the words i choose to use, the things i say to certain people. very few get to see my true self.

what i'm thinking about now is why. why must people see me in that light? can't they see that i've changed? i'm no longer the person that used to be before. must people really take the past me and emphasize on the point that i used to be not such a good person in your sight? must that rumor, that gossip forever be placed into motion within this place? must it be passed down all the way?

i seldom post my feelings. but truth be told. at this current moment, there's no one to tell them to. i feel hurt, i feel sad, like there's really no one there for me. like the world just hates me because of what they think that i've done wrong. they haven't tried to prove it with the source. they just prove it with the people they trust. why? why must it be this way.

think about it. you don't know who i really am. you don't know what i have really done. yet you judge me in this light and spread the word that i'm not a good person to be with? just because you think that this will protect your people? you willingly sacrifice a soul that is of innocence to save the people in a situation which is not confirmed, assumed, and may only be right in your own context.

i am also human. think about it. put yourself in the shoes of Henzy David. feel the pain that he bore for years past. you don't even know my history, yet you judge me with eyes that in your perspective is justice.

give him a chance. just like the few who have chosen to do so. then you will know his true power, his true capability. trust him. he's not what you think he is.

"...only but a shadow of the wind."