Monday, October 05, 2009
i now see why we have to go through this much to be together, and not me just falling in love with you back then when we first met. i don't think that it'd be this good if we just got together at that point of time. it just wouldn't have been the same. i now see that it was all God-planned. i now understand the reasons and i thank God for them, in fact, i praise Him that He had put us through all those trials and tribulations before we ended up here. it just wouldn't be the same.
it wouldn't be the same if i didn't go through the previous failed relationships. without them, i wouldn't have learnt the things that were taught to me through the pain. i wouldn't be what i am today. i feel, maybe i'd still be as possessive and selfish, as stubborn and as willful, as impatient and as immature as i was before. and that wouldn't be good, would it.
i wouldn't know what the true meaning of treasuring and trusting a person is. i wouldn't understand how to give others space and time. i wouldn't be able to love you just as much without understanding how much it means to me if that love was taken away. it is true, that sometimes, you won't know how to treasure something unless it's taken away from you. that's why i Praise the Lord for the pain. i Praise the Lord for the things that i've gone through, for the things that i've lost. for without losing them, i wouldn't have been able to treasure you like how i do now.
and yes. i do thank you. those broken relationships. as painful or as screwed up and a failure they might have been. they have taught me things that could never be found without going through one. so i thank you, i wish not to name names, but you know who you are. i thank God for you.
as is in all situations, nothing is perfect. we're all striving hard, ignoring the distractions and holding on to that which is important. i guess, my issue now is still insecurity, the doubts that arise over time. but just as i told you, you reminded me that this insecurity is a distraction, and i shouldn't rely on my logic to produce the trust, i should just trust and believe.
thank you, thank all of you who have been a part of my life. for through these experiences have i learnt things that are priceless. through these hardships, have i truly been made into what i am today. and i stand in awe that He planned all this even before i existed.
for truly, only in the Darkness will you be able to find your True Guiding Light.
I'll be seeing you for the rest of my life right? haha. that's our promise.
As Dusk Falls
10/05/2009 11:23:00 PM
